Im amazed how one singel decision made with the most honest feelings, love, good-will can turn into the worst decision in someones life.
It doesnt seem to matter how long ago it was made, suddenly its there and its there to haunt you, destroy you. Once started there is no way to stop it and not only do you feel helpless, you feel completely and utterly cheated, by that decision, by life, by a higher power.
It can destroy the strongest of families, relationships and or friendships. And i cant help to wonder how things would have turned out to be if that decision never had been made. There is of course no way of knowing but the outcome will definitely had been different, for better for worst.
There is no way of knowing when you are making such a decision, since you make it with all the good intentions and with all the love in your heart and there is no way of knowing the outcome or even suspect when it will come or a way of preparing yourself for it, since you did it for someone else and in noway with ill-intentions.
I feel as if i have been cheated ,
by a slow but relentlessly progresive EVIL-power,
that cant be stopped ,
that cant be changed,
no matter how much i try
it gets worst,
no matter how much i give
it just grows.
Dear God,
i feel cheated , for when i did someone good i got something bad.
And i want a bloody REFUND !!!
Whatever i have done,
whatever i have caused,
its enough.
I cant carry on and feel low,
this could be a good bye or a hello.
No matter what
i love you all.
Always will
Always have
No doubt, about that,
whether close or far.
